Running on Empty

All too often this little orange light comes on in my van. The kids look for it and they wait. They wonder when I will get gas this time.

Not me.

I know when I see that light just how many miles I can drive on “empty.” Actually, not a skill I’m proud of because it’s symbolically become how I live my life. How much farther can I push myself before I "run out of gas?"

Not healthy.

Lately, the orange light has been demanding my attention, but it’s really the Lord trying to get my attention. Drawing not only my eyes but my heart to the "E". Him asking, “How much longer will you drive before you fill up?” He has stirred my heart to contemplate, to ask the hard questions and make changes.

Not easy.

He’s not demanding I straighten up my act, just that I consider what He’s saying. Be intentional about answering the questions He’s asking. He’s just asking that I stop waiting for the empty light and the 60 plus miles I know I can still go and fill up before the light comes on.

Ouch!

When He is so present and persistent He always gets my attention. Although I haven’t changed my risky ways, I have been more mindful. I’m actually considering not letting my gas light come on at all. Filling up before it’s obvious I need to.

This is not something new. I can remember at 21 getting a new car and waiting for the gas light to come on, but guess what? It didn’t have one. I almost ran out of gas, but I didn’t and I never did until a few years ago, it almost became a habit. I ran out of gas three times in two months. Twice in friend’s driveways and once at the McDonald’s drive-thru, not even able to get to the pickup window and having to pull into a parking spot and walk up to the window. Yeah! It happened.

Since this has been a long-standing issue I don’t imagine it will disappear overnight or just because He has my attention, but I am working on it. I’ve set some things in place in my personal life to help with this “riding on empty” addiction I seem to have. I’m not trying to please anyone, I am simply trying to get things done, but not being very kind to myself in the process.

Working from home has presented new challenges, with the work always being feet away beckoning me from the sunroom. I’ve got a time management accountability partner, but have been so busy I haven’t actually gotten to sit down and make a schedule for her to hold me accountable to.

If this is you too if you struggle with this let me know that we’re in this together. Let me pray for you as I pray for myself to listen to His voice over the demands of my life.

Father, today allow me to hear your voice over the noise of my life. Allow me to see you and follow your lead instead of just waiting for the gas light and being driven by the needs of an empty tank. Direct my steps today and allow my heart to follow you. Fill me up. Amen.