Treasures in Darkness

Growing up I looked for treasure. Things were dark in my world, so I searched for light, not even sure what I was looking for. I was always hopeful but kept hitting brick walls. The darkness remained and eventually led to days, weeks and even months of depression. Years of counseling and medication and talking about the same things over and over again.

By the grace of God, a suicide attempt at the age of 22 did not take my life. It was the turning point that began my journey toward healing and redemption. I had no idea what any of that meant at the time, but I was seeking something different or better then what I was experiencing.

I found God.

Turns out, He had been patiently waiting for me. Never moving or wavering. Waiting for me to come to Him - sure that I would.

Even after finding Him and developing an intimate relationship I still struggled. Old patterns and ways of thinking got me into some of the same situations as an adult and the more I learned about God the more that way of life became intolerable.

He healed me in dramatic and miraculous ways and eventually I was off all medication and no longer in counseling. It was a whole new life for me, the life I had truly always believed in and dreamed about.

Years later I found myself as a single mom of four children nine and under with a recent diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. It’s when I got serious! Serious about conversations with the Lord. It was also the time I began asking Him to not let me miss anything He was doing.

He answered that prayer!

In the midst of the struggle and emotion, I could see and feel Him all around me. I began to rediscover things about myself and began to truly love myself for who He created me to be instead of who I thought I should be. Even my kids noticed. They would remark on how our life was changing as God was blessing us.

I remembered my favorite flower and things that had made me come alive as a child. In some ways, it was like meeting myself for the first time.

Last year I took my kids to see my childhood home in Atlanta and it looks like a different house. If the number weren’t on the mailbox I wouldn’t know it was the same place. Pretty symbolic if you ask me. As we drove out of the neighborhood I saw some trees to my right and I turned to get a closer look. This is what I found.

I was in awe of these trees. I didn't even know what kind they were, but I had never seen anything like it. Someone had made a little pathway and installed a doggie bag box and made a little park out of this area next to the entrance of the subdivision.

Recently as I looked at these pictures, I realized those trees were always there, they were just hidden. In the struggle and chaos of my childhood, there was beauty, I just hadn’t seen it. Sometimes life can be like that because of circumstances and we focus so much on the bad that we miss the good. But God promises in His word to give us “the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the LORD, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel.” Isaiah 45:3

I have never been more sure that He is absolutely who He says He is.

And not only does He give treasures in darkness, but He heals too. That diagnosis, rheumatoid arthritis, it’s a thing of the past. It no longer exists in my body and believe me those doctors keep checking and the results are the same - negative. I believed Him when He said He’d restore the years the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25). He healed my body and my mind and gave me “hidden riches of secret places” and come to find out some of the places were within walking distance.